Hung Up on Hadley (Red Maple Falls, #5) Page 17

  “What are you doing here, Hadley?”

  “Well, someone forgot to pick up their sister today and wouldn’t answer his damn phone.”

  “Oh shit!” He sat up, running a hand over the thick scruff on his face. Dark bags lined his eyes; his usual dark brown hair mixed with premature gray strands was unkempt. The lines around his eyes that had always been a sign of a life spent laughing now cut harshly, making him look haggard. He was in a pair of gym shorts and nothing else, and while Hadley had seen his chest many times before she was still never prepared to see it on display. She tried to ignore the hard, defined lines as she met his gaze.

  She forced a smile and changed her tone, hating to see him panicked. “Don’t worry. I took her out for ice cream then brought her home.”

  “You did?”

  She nodded.

  “Thanks.”

  “Of course.”

  He sunk back into the couch, his defined chest and arms making him look large even though his demeanor was indicating the exact opposite.

  Hadley sat down on the oversized chair to his right, inching to the edge. “Now you want to tell me what’s going on?”

  He pressed his fingers into his eyes—a clear sign that he didn’t want to talk about it. “Nothing.”

  “So why didn’t you pick up Missy?”

  “I forgot.”

  “Funny, because you haven’t missed a single Wednesday pick up since she was in kindergarten.”

  “What do you want from me? I forgot. I’m not fucking perfect like you.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Forget it. Just go, okay. Thank you for getting Missy home. But please, just leave.”

  He might as well have slammed his hand through her chest and ripped out her heart, thrown it on the floor, and stomped on it. She swallowed down the pain his words caused and straightened, refusing to let him knock her down.

  This wasn’t Sam. Not her Sam. This was a man who was in pain. Who didn’t know how to cope with the tragedy he endured. She wanted to throw her arms around him and assure him that everything would be okay, that he would find a way to get through this, and she would make sure of it.

  But that’s not what he needed right now. So against her deepest desires, she listened and walked away, knowing that tomorrow was another day. And he’d better believe that she would be back.

  Chapter 23

  Hadley showed up to Sam’s with a bucket filled with cleaning supplies. She didn’t care if he didn’t want her there, she was going to prove to him that he could push and shove her away as much as he wanted, but she wasn’t going anywhere. She would always take care of him just as he had always taken care of her.

  She knocked on the door, not surprised when it went unanswered, so she turned the knob to let herself in. She was surprised when the knob wouldn’t turn. He’d locked her out. She huffed to herself and planted her hands on her hip. “Not today, smartass,” she said as she walked around the side of the house to the deck and pulled up the broken board. She stuck her hand into the hole and pulled out the fake rock that held the spare key.

  With the key in her hand, she went back to the door and unlocked it, letting herself in. “Honey, I’m home,” she called out as she held the door and waited for Lady to follow her inside.

  Lady went right for the kitchen where Sam kept a box of treats, but Hadley knew that the poor girl wasn’t going to find him there. Hadley moved down the hallway, passed the table where his mail was piled up, then went to the living room.

  Sam was in the exact place he was yesterday. He was asleep in a pair of navy blue boxer briefs, his face unshaven and his hair a disheveled mess.

  Hadley slammed the bucket down on the coffee table, causing Sam to jump up. Once his eyes cleared and he recognized her, he sunk back into the couch. “What the fuck, Hadley?” Anger rose in his voice, but she ignored it. If she was going to make her point then she needed to stay strong.

  “This house is a disaster and someone needs to clean it.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with the house.”

  “Really?” She bent down and picked up five beer cans that were scattered across the table. “Is this some sort of new design craze I haven’t heard about?”

  Sam squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t have the patience for this.”

  “And I don’t have the time, so either get your ass off the couch and help me or stay there and keep your mouth shut.”

  It was a challenge, and he either was going to take the bait or tap out.

  He ran his hands over his face and sunk into the couch, closing his eyes as if he could forget that she was there.

  She went about wiping down the countertops, dusting shelves and tabletops, and when she turned on the vacuum she thought for sure he would have something to say, but he just turned over on the couch.

  Once the trash was taken out, the tub was scrubbed, and the house smelled clean, she took her keys and stopped in front of him.

  “I’m going to the store to pick up some groceries. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

  “No, and I don’t need any groceries either.”

  “Despite what you may think, you can’t survive on beef jerky and Fritos.”

  His jaw tensed, the vein bobbing with anger. Good. Maybe if he stopped ignoring her, and let out whatever was building up inside of him, he’d feel better, just like her dad had told her. Once you let it out, no matter how ugly and harsh it was, you would find release. He needed that release, and she was willing to be his punching bag if that’s what it took.

  “I said I don’t need any groceries,” he growled.

  “And I said you do.”

  He slammed his hand against the coffee table, and she bit back the smile of satisfaction that move caused inside her.

  “Damn it, Hadley. I’m not one of your dogs you can rescue.”

  “I don’t want to rescue you,” she said, even though that’s exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to reach into the dark side that he was floating in and be the guiding light that pulled him out.

  “Really?” A fiery rage hung onto that single word. “Then what the hell is this? Huh? You come here, clean my fucking house, scrub my damn toilet, and now you want to go grocery shopping for me? I don’t know what your end game is, but you’re wasting your time.”

  The anger poured out of him, but it didn’t seem to help. If anything, the tension only seemed to tighten the lines around his eyes, his jaw was a rigid brick wall, and his eyes were practically black.

  Her plan wasn’t working, and she was out of ideas. So she decided to just say what was in her heart. “I’m worried about you.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? Her eyes widened at the stupidity of the question. Did he honestly have to ask her that? Did he not know? Was he that lost in his own misery that he couldn’t see how badly she was hurting, too? “Because I care about you, damn it, and I don’t like to see you like this.”

  “Why?” This time the word was a mere growl.

  Her patience waned, her resolve weakening by the second. She clenched her fists and stared at him. “Why what?”

  “Why do you care about me?”

  The little patience she had left snapped. “If you really have to ask me that, then you really are an idiot.”

  She stormed out of the house, patting her leg for Lady to follow. If he wanted to live on beer and beef jerky then so be it. She was done for the day.

  ***

  Fire licked at the walls, the wallpaper shriveling to an unrecognizable pattern. Heat crawled up his spine and around his neck like a hand squeezing the life out of him. He ignored the uncomfortable sensations and moved farther into the house. His comfort was the least of his worries. He needed to find Rich.

  He stepped into the kitchen. He could hear his crew all around him, venting the roof, doing everything they could to keep him safe. The sound of his breathing was almost deafening as he spotted Rich in the corner, hugging his son.
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  “No!” Sam exclaimed. “He’s not supposed to be here.”

  “Help me!” Rich cried, pure panic on his face as he held his son tightly.

  Sam maneuvered around the falling debris and held out his hand to Travis. “I got him,” Sam said, but Rich pulled the boy back.

  “No! If you take him, I’ll die. I won’t leave my son fatherless.”

  They were running out time. It was now or never. Sam needed to make a decision. He grabbed Travis out of Rich’s arms and yelled to him to follow. He surveyed the room, plotted out a clean path and moved toward it.

  He could see the sprinkle of sunlight filtering through the black smoke, hear his crew calling out commands as he moved closer. The door came into view, and Hadley stood there, bathed in sunlight, glowing like the angel she was.

  “Come home to me,” she said.

  Sam focused on the slate blue of her eyes as he made his way to her.

  A loud crash knocked him over, and he grabbed for Travis but he was gone. He spun around just in time to see the fire encase the rest of the house; Rich was stuck behind a wall of flames.

  “You killed me! You took me from my son!” he cried as the flames overtook him, and he fell to the ground.

  “I didn’t mean to. I tried to save you,” Sam said over and over. The pain too intense to bear he fell to his knees, clutching at his chest. “I tried. I tried.”

  “Sam.”

  “I tried.”

  “Sam!” Hadley’s voice broke through the fire, jolting him awake. He sat up, sweat dripping down his back and his face. His breath came in hard, ragged gasps as he tried to fill his lungs.

  Hadley’s cool hands rested on his cheeks, sending a soothing calm through his body. She looked at him with concern, but all he could focus on was the smell of her cherry Chapstick.

  “It was only a dream,” she said.

  He shook his head and pulled away from her hold, worried if he stayed there he would lose control. “I thought you left.”

  “I did, but then I cooled down and realized that whether you want to admit it or not, you need me.”

  “I need you to leave me alone. Why can’t you get that through your thick skull?”

  The edge of her mouth quirked, and that little gesture of amusement shot heat to his core. He looked away from her, not allowing himself to feel any joy. If Rich Morgan couldn’t feel joy any more, then neither could he.

  “The first time you ever told me that was when I smacked my head on that tree branch on the old oak tree on the edge of the farm. Knocked me right out of the tree. I cried so hard, but you took me in your arms and kissed my head and told me I’d be okay because I had a thick skull. You wiped my tears away and climbed the tree with me because I was too scared to go back on my own.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, but being the strong woman that she was, she held them back until there was no evidence of them.

  “You always were there for me. Now it’s my turn to be there for you. Push me away, do whatever makes you feel right, but I’m not going anywhere. You hear me? I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I don’t deserve you,” he said, unable to keep the words to himself.

  “Right now, no you don’t. You’ve been cruel and horrible, but I know that’s not you. It’s the demons you’re fighting, and one day you’ll be you again, and it’ll all be worth it.”

  She had so much faith in him—more than he deserved. The truth was these demons were too big and he was too damn tired. There was no fighting them. “What if I’m not? What if this is me?” His words came out in almost a whisper, and Hadley didn’t say anything for a long time, making him think that she didn’t hear him, but then she shrugged and a sad smile spread across her pretty mouth.

  “I’ll still love you anyway.”

  His heart constricted, squeezing so tight he thought it might explode.

  Hadley swiped her keys off the coffee table. “There’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes on the counter. You should eat something,” she said then gave him another smile that reached down to his very soul.

  Chapter 24

  Another week had past and while Sam was a little nicer to her when Hadley popped in unannounced, he was still so far gone in a depression that she couldn’t pull him out no matter how hard she tried.

  To make matters worse, things were still awkward with Matt and she hated that. Matt was always the person she could turn to when she needed advice, and right now she needed him more than anything.

  With her pride shoved far in the back of her mind, she pulled into his driveway and parked beside his cruiser.

  She had called Shay earlier who’d told her that Matt was at work but usually stopped home around eleven to let Bubbles out. Shay was at the bakery and Matthew was at their parents’.

  Her heart slammed against her chest, and she laughed at the absurdity. Being nervous to knock on her brother’s door which she had done a million times was just ridiculous.

  She got out of her truck and went to the door, and before she could chicken out, she knocked. Matt came to the door, dressed in his tan uniform, his hazel eyes narrowing in confusion then concern.

  He flung the door open and gave her a protective glance over. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing,” she said. “Can we talk?”

  His eyes softened, the tense set of his shoulders relaxed, and he stepped aside to let her in.

  “Sure.”

  She was greeted by Bubbles and she bent down to love on the dog she once fostered. “Hey there. Aren’t you a good boy?” she said, giving him a thorough petting.

  “I need to get back to the station soon,” Matt said, and Hadley gave one final pat on Bubbles back and stood.

  “I’m not here to apologize,” she said. “I don’t think what I did was wrong, but I am here because once upon a time I could count on you for anything.”

  “You still can. Just because we don’t see eye to eye all the time doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

  She nodded as an unexpected wave of emotion slammed into her. “Good to know.”

  “Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll see what I can do.”

  “I’m worried about Sam.”

  “He’s a grown man.”

  “Even a grown man can fall apart sometimes.”

  Matt inhaled deeply then leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m listening.”

  “It’s bad, Mattie. He won’t get off the couch. He’s been drinking a lot, having nightmares… He keeps telling me to go away, but I can’t just leave him like that. He would never leave me like that, any of us.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to do. He made it very clear to me that I wasn’t welcomed in his home.”

  “Go anyway. Talk to him.”

  “I doubt it’ll make a difference.”

  “You’re his best friend. Despite all the crap that happened, you can’t negate thirty years of friendship.”

  Matt ran his hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head. “Fine, I’ll talk to him, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

  “That’s all I’m asking.” Those stupid tears built up in her eyes again. “Thank you.” She went to walk out the door and stopped, turning back to her oldest brother. “I miss you, and I hate this.” She tried to hold the wall of tears back but the pressure was too much to contend with. They streamed down her face and onto her chin.

  Matt pushed off the counter and wrapped her into an embrace. “Me too, kid. Me too.”

  ***

  Sam heard the door open, and a thrill of happiness coursed through him at the thought that it was Hadley. It was pathetic really. He wouldn’t allow himself to act on his desires, but he couldn’t control the joy she brought just by walking into a room.

  When he looked up from the spot on the couch that was practically molded to his body he was shocked to see Matt. After he had told Matt he wasn’t welcomed in his house, he hadn’t been back.

  Sam pushed up and grabbed a
discarded shirt. He pulled it over his head and watched as Matt looked around. “You look like shit,” he said as he sat down on the chair beside the couch.

  “Thanks. What are you doing here?”

  “I had a visit from Hadley, and not even two minutes after she pulled out of my driveway my grandmother showed up.”

  “How’d that go?”

  “Hadley’s worried about you, and I can see why. My grandma, on the other hand, reamed me out. Called me an idiot. Said I should know what it’s like to be kept from the person you love because of other people. I didn’t think of it like that, but I’m no better than Shay’s mom.”

  “Trust me, you could never be that bad.”

  Matt smiled. “I’m still up there right now. I just… I know you and your outlook on relationships and women in general.”

  “Hadley’s different. I would never—”

  “I know that now. Took my eighty-two-year-old grandmother to knock some sense into me.”

  “Yeah, well, you’ve always been slow to catch on.”

  “Fuck you.” Matt said, but there was humor in his tone. He clapped his hands on his knees and let out a loud breath. “So if it’s my permission you’re waiting on, you have it.”

  “I’m not good for her.”

  “See, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re exactly right for her.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “You know her better than anyone, and I know no one will ever love her the way you do. That’s what she deserves, and so do you, so stop trying to convince yourself that you’re not good enough because, and I’m only going to say this once so you damn well better listen. You are good enough. You’re the best damn friend a guy could ever ask for, and I know you’ll always put my sister above everyone else, even yourself.”

  “Always.” Sam was quiet for a moment letting Matt’s words sink in. “A guy died on my watch.” Finally saying the words were like someone reaching into his chest and pulling his heart out, putting it on display for everyone to see the corroded layers.

  “It’s part of the job. You know that. It sucks and you wish you can save everyone, but sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you lose.”